Star Wars Bacon T-Shirt – THIS is how you crush the rebellion.
February 28, 2013 § Leave a comment
Why am I looking at this tee? Well, it combines two of my favourite things in the world ever. Star Wars and Bacon. Anything that combines those two things instantly gets my approval. So, without further ado (not that there had been too much ado before now – precious little ado actually), here is a Star Wars Bacon T-Shirt.
So, say you’re a couple of Sith guys with most of the universe under your control. Like any successful business, you want 100% market share of everything you’re involved in (weapons, soldiers, the Force, etc…). It’s natural. But how do you get people to convert? Were I Vader, or the Emperor, the first bit of propaganda I would do, would be to start a rumour about how the rebels are going to ban bacon. Maybe that the “light” side of the force was all about dieting and that bacon just didn’t fit in with that philosophy. Every ship in the galaxy would turn against them. Han and Chewie would have flushed Ben and Luke into the vacuum of Space, paid Jabba what they owed him with the reward money for doing so, and gone and had a bacon sarnie. The whole saga over by act the start of act 2. Done. Instead though, the Sith preached all the boring stuff and didn’t win hearts and minds. Bacon wins hearts and minds. And then clogs up the arteries of said hearts with win. fatty, salty win. It’s odd they didn’t think of it, seeing as a Sith lightsaber is kind-of the same colour as bacon.
This Sith T-Shirt is brought to you by the good folks at the geekiest place on Earth, Thinkgeek.com. It costs between $20.99 and $22.99, comes in red and sizes range from Small to XXXL. And in my mind, if the rebellion had been crushed, to sweeten the guards at Imperial checkpoints, Han would have renamed his ship the Millennium Bacon. May the Pork be with you.