Seagull T-Shirt – Britain’s top predator.

May 20, 2013 § Leave a comment

Gull T-Shirt

Forget sharks – this is why I avoid the beach.

The seagull, though it might look like an uninteresting bird, is possibly the most cunning and evil avian incarnation on (or above) Earth. I shall elaborate below as you enjoy the looks of this lovely Seagull T-Shirt.

Though there is technically no such thing as a seagull (there are lots of different gulls – none of which are called ‘seagulls’) their reality is a stark and chilling indictment of the dangerous nature of birds. Now, I like birds, as a rule. I have no quarrels with quails nor any bad blood with blackbirds. But Seagulls are nasty bits of work. Their greatest crime? Chip stealing. Yes, these bully-boys with beaks that frequent British seaside towns will pinch the chips right off your plate as you try to enjoy the sunshine. And when you look to take them on – to reclaim your chip – you see the evil little eyes filled with hatred for humanity, and the yellow, knife-like beak that protrudes from their so-called faces, and think better of it. Yes, other countries may have bears, lions, koalas or any other big predator, but we have these things. An Englishman’s chip is sacred, and these feathered fiends defile the sanctity of the fried potato with such regularity that we ought to fear them. I do. Therefore, I haven’t been to the beach in England in about five years. I don’t miss it (though, admittedly, seagulls are the least of the reasons why I don’t miss English seaside towns).

Enough of my anti-avian ramblings. This Gull T-Shirt is brought to you by the talented folks at Mild West Heroes. It was created by the very talented Michelle Barker and I discovered it on notonthehighstreet.com. It costs £19, sizes range from small to XL and comes in blue. You go take a look, and I shall continue my research onto anti-seagull chip-protection systems.

 

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